Thursday, June 6, 2013

Ten Ways to LOVE giving a Blow Job

I get to spend a ton of time listening to women complain about "doing the deed."  Often, women joke about the BDay BJ...once a year, she gives in and gives a blow job on his birthday.  They roll their eyes, purse their lips and look like they've just been asked to be a giant bowl of Prairie Oysters....ya...I went there....

We have this wonderful "image" of what a blow job should be by watching the budget porn.  You know, the movie where the woman clears her throat then full force spits on the man's penis with every ounce of liquid her mouth...alright....not so sexy.

I want to give you TEN tips that will get you on the road to loving giving a Blow Job.  In fact, I want you to not only LOVE giving a Blow Job, but to be GREAT at it!

#10:  Think of his penis as a mini version of him.  You like to have sex with your man.  You like to make him feel good...think of his penis in the same way.  Men find a great deal of validation in their penis.  The size, the girth, the beauty of his penis, try thinking of his penis as a mini version of him.

#9:  A shower makes everything better.  Women tell me all the time that they don't like the way their partner's body smells after a long day of work.  Admittedly, women can have the same issue with body odor, so why not jump in a shower together if you are worried about the scent of your skin?  Give each other a wonderful sexy rub down in the shower.  Rinse off all the nooks and crannies and step out of that shower with steamy skin and your desire on high alert!

#8:  Take your time.  Blow Jobs are not about going fast and deep.  In fact, many men love for you to linger over their penis.  Take your time.  Go slow and treat him like a delicious $45 dessert to be savored.  Don't rush through giving him a head.  Slow your breathing down and take your time.

#7:  Use your tongue and lips, not just your mouth.  Drag your tongue from the base of his penis up to the tip of the penis.  Swirl your tongue around the head of his penis and tease him with it.  Don't worry about taking his penis right into the back of your throat.  By using your tongue and your lips to kiss and lick him, you will drive him crazy!

#6:  Use your hands.  Grasping the shaft of his penis with your hands is a great way to give the feeling of a deep throat blow job without worrying about triggering your gag reflex.  Many women fear the sound of her throat closing off and making a gagging sound.  Try wrapping your hand around the shaft of the penis close to the testicles and rhythmically move your hands up and down as you kiss and lick and suck the head of the penis.

#5:  Add some flavor.  There are hundreds of flavored products on the market.  From Strawberry to Mocha Latte, there is a flavor for everyone!  Flavored edible products should be sugar free.  You don't always get all the product off the penis before you engage in intercourse and sugar is not a good friend to the vagina.  Sugar free products are the best choice.  You can turn your favorite boy into a delightful dessert.  Imagine making him into a "Banana Split"  He has the add some chocolate, strawberry and pineapple flavored lotions and you have the BEST DESSERT EVER!

#4:  Add some sensations.  There are various edible lotions that also heat up, cool down and tingle!  Change up the sensations against his skin!  That heating, cooling, tingling sensation can be an amazing way to make him putty in your hands!  Choose a lotion that changes as your breathe or blow on it!  Blindfolding your partner can be even more fun when the sensations he is experiencing are heightened when he can't see what you're doing.

#3 Not your grandmother's pearls.  Hands down, bringing a string of pearls into the oral sex can have him begging for more and offering to buy your a Tiffany Dinner ring!  Pearls have a unique feel against the skin that is a sensation of cool and silky at the same time.  Go ahead, pull that string of pearls out of the jewelry box, they are just gathering dust in there anyway!  Wrap them gently around the base of the penis and drape them over his testicles.  Gather the string of pearls into your hand and gently begin to stroke up and down.  Add a few drops of lubricant to help them glide over the skin...a flavored lubricant is perfect for this!  Ask him to tell you how it feels, does he like it, what more would he like you to do.

#2:  Look up at him!  As you take his penis into your mouth, look up and into your partner's eyes.  Hold his gaze!  Have an entire conversation with him using only your eyes.  Tell him how much you love him and want to give him a wonderful sexual experience.  Watch his face for signals.  Watch for clues about what he is really enjoying and what you could change up.  Watching your partner as you give him pleasure can be the very best way to learn about what he loves.

#1:  Talk it out.  The bottom line is we want to please our partner sexually, and we want to be pleasured with the same energy.  We want our sexual lives to be wonderful.  Rarely, do we wish that we had a crappy sex life.  If we are having sex, we want it to be AWESOME. Sometimes, engaging in some sex talk before going into the bedroom, we can find out exactly what our partner wants and enjoys.  You may never love giving a Blow Job.  It's not a lot of fun when it's viewed as a "job"  Changing how we think about it and how we approach oral sex can make a huge difference.  Be honest with your partner.  Tell them how you feel about it and tell them you want to enjoy it and you want to get better at it.  Engaging in the conversation is the first step to making our sex lives even better!

So, tell me...what's your favorite way to mix it up in the bedroom?  Is it imperative to have oral sex as part of our sexual relationship or should we forgo that "duty" and just get down to the intercourse?


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Are you making this #1 mistake when you get naked?

The light's are turned off and then the clothes are removed.  That's pretty typical of the average behavior of sexually active couples.  Whether you are self conscious of your body or your partners body...we hide what we look like buck naked!

We pull the sheets up high on our body.  We wrap the blankets around us and tuck in the bits we don't want anyone to see.  We hide.  We cover up and we hope nobody is looking.

The #1 mistake we make is this:
We don't celebrate the fact WE ARE NAKED!  We LOVE having a naked person with us.  It means we are going to have sex!  It means that we are going to get our kibbles and bits touched and licked and stroked and fondled!  It means we are going to quite possibly have at least one orgasm..maybe more!  If you are in a room with a naked have won the naked lottery!

Ladies, quit being so worried about the curves of your body and the shades of your skin!  The person waiting between the sheets for you is happy to be there!  They are RARING to go!  They are happy to look at you, worship your gorgeous self and partake of the buffet that is your body!

Men, quit worrying about the hair in the corners and the size of your Johnson!  Your partner is excited to touch you, kiss you and feel you against them!

Let's all make a pact!  Let's quit worrying about what we look like with clothes on and off!  Let's cut ourselves a break and start celebrating the amazing gift we have in our bodies and the sex we are having!  Let's get naked and let's LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON!!


Monday, June 3, 2013

Love Glue

What is more significant when it comes to falling and staying in love?  Nature?  Nurture?  Who does more around the house?  Who has sex more often?

The answer may surprise you.

We all have a chemical hormone in our body called Oxytocin.  It is the hormone that can help us be more  sympathetic, open to feelings of love and joy and supportive of the people around us.  Know a caregiver in your life?  They probably have extraordinarily high levels of Oxytocin.  They tend to be the ones that are always willing to care for you.  The same goes for love interests.  The mate who is willing to go above and beyond.  Bring you soup when you're sick and rub your feet when you're tired.

As scientists dig deeper and explore the brain in ways we never thought possible...the amazing ways we connect as human beings will be the beginning of a love revolution!

The truth is, we are a grand mix of nature and nurture!  We are an incredible blend of the recipe of life, love and lust.

I can't wait to hear more about what knits us together as lovers.


Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Three Tips to Getting What You Want in Bed

Let's be's hard to ask for what we want in a relationship.  There are so many things happening at one time in our relationship that when it comes to getting what we want.  Often we worry about offending our partner.  After all, asking for something different means we aren't enjoying what we are currently getting or somehow our partner isn't "performing" for us.


Many times, we love what we are getting, however, this tiny tweak or change will make it AMAZING!

We fear hurting our partner and possibly losing what we currently have.  Here are three great tips to getting more of what you want in bed with your partner!

1.  Remind your partner of what you love.  That magic moment when your partner touches you, kisses you, makes that move that curls your toes....we have all had them. Then, the next time we are having sex, they don't do it and we feel kind of ripped off.  The reality is, that unless you clearly communicate to your partner that you LOVE the move they did, how it made you feel, how you want more of it because he/she is so amazing...they have NO IDEA.  When we are naked and getting our groove on, we are not making a mental list of what we did and didn't do.  Remind your partner of  "the time when you did was so incredible...." and let them know how much you enjoyed it.

2.  Learn together.  The resources available to couples now is endless!  Books, videos, webpages, seminars, sex toy shops, friends, the goes on and on.  One of the ways my clients open up conversation is to purchase a fun  book like Sadie Allison's line of "How to...." guides.  An easy way to communicate and point out things that look appealing.  Lie in bed together and thumb through the pages!  Verbalize what you are thinking.  "Oh, that looks fun!"  "Let's try that!"  Simple verbal cues are often the beginning of a great adventure for couples.

3.  Give as good as you get.  We can be very self serving in bed.  After all, we want the orgasm.  We want the sexual fulfillment.  We are focused on our pleasure and we can forget that we haven't fulfilled our partner.  We must give back pleasure in kind to our partner.  Get vocal in bed.  Ask them "do you like this?"  "how does this feel?"  Ask your partner for verbal and physical cues back when you are hitting the right spot.  A moan or a grip of the hand or hair is the best cue we can give to our partner and we need to pay attention when we are getting them.  When your goal is your partners ultimate pleasure and their goal is your ultimate pleasure, the evening is on the right track to toe curling orgasms and a "let's do this again!  SOON!"

Learning to communicate in a healthy way is the first step towards getting what you need in a relationship.  We learn to ask for our needs to be met and in turn, we offer back the same investment in our partner.


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Three Ways to Stop Being a Bully in Your Relationship

Do you remember the school yard bully?  The one kid or many kids that roamed around demanding things from everyone.  Physically or mentally beating you up.  Taking things that didn't belong to them.  In many ways, we carry those fears and behaviors to our relationships with significant others.

Either the fear of being bullied or the pattern of bullying.  If you were bullied you might tend to be more on the aggressive side as to NOT be bullied again.  When this happens we build walls and protections around us to make sure that no one will hurt us ever again in that way.

Does this sound like a set of patterns in your relationship?

1.  Always demanding things of your partner.  Either to do things in and around the house, or to do something directly for you.

2.  Physically or emotionally bullying a partner.  Whether by sabotaging things so you can be right or getting physical by pushing or hitting.

3.  Hiding spending habits, hiding treats or food you want, hiding the remote control.

While on the outside these things might seem small or insignificant, they are an indication of a much bigger and deeper issue in your relationship.

Here are three ways to stop being a bully in your relationship and start creating a healthy one.

1.  Ask for what you need and want.  Asking allows your partner to actually meet your needs.  Demanding puts someone in the position to automatically say no.  Asking for what you need is a much healthier way to have your needs meet.  It is a clean clear conversation that leads to resolution rather than conflict.  Asking allows your partner to be the "hero" and fulfill the need and to be connected to the outcome.  They are not obligated to fulfill the need, however, being asked to do something rather than being TOLD to do something have very different results.

2.  If you are in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, there are many resources available to you in your city!  If you are unsure, you can check out a list here to help.  Sometimes the emotional bullying is sly and hard to actually pinpoint.  If your partner asks you to do something, do you intentionally ignore them and set your mind to NOT do what is asked?  Do you withhold normal physical affection?  Hugs, hand holding, etc?  Over time, these little withholds chip away at the integrity of our relationships and create an environment of distrust.  Have a conversation and learn to ask for what you want.

3.  Get honest.  Get real.  If you are hiding purchases and are not being honest with your partner.  If you are hiding the foods you love and not sharing you are not being honest with your partner.  If you are hiding the remote or not willing to meet in the middle with TV shows are not being honest with your partner.  Hidden things are like a slow acting poison in a relationship.  Find a money mentor and lay it all on the table.  Go shopping together and agree on what treats to share and what can be a luxury all to yourself.

The answers are never easy and they certainly aren't simple.  Finding a path together in a relationship will give you a sense of connection, intimacy and peace.

If you are in need of further direction and support, you might benefit from a Relationship Coach. My services are offered in person in Calgary, Alberta and over skype or phone long distance.

Please contact me via email at


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Have I got a DEAL for YOU!

What has your summer been like?  Busy?  Quiet?  Filled with sun and sand??
My summer has been UBER BUSY!  Like CRAZY busy...and I have been loving the time with my kids!  I have also been taking some courses...and I have come to this conclusion....


You, my TOO!!!

So, for my end of summer sale....I HAVE A KICK ASS DEAL!!!!


Pure Satisfaction Gel....
Climax in a jar! _ As featured on "The Doctors" 

Discover for yourself why this is our #1 selling product. Our exclusive UniSEX Enhancement Gel is a safe, aloe vera based topical gel enriched with a blend of natural ingredients including L-arginine (an amino acid known to promote and enhance clitoral and penile sensitivity and arousal). This gentle stimulant was scientifically formulated for use by both men and women. It often results in enhanced sensitivity and greater potential for even more sexual fulfillment and increased pleasure.

G Spot Creme.....
Passion Parties' exclusive G-Spot Crème produces a stimulating effect to inspire sensual excitement in the G-Spot. The rich ingredients interact with your G-Spot to promote a higher awareness of sexual sensitivity, enabling greater sexual pleasure. Designed for women by women to instill a positive level of confident sexual awareness, while providing the internal stimulation their bodies crave. Water-soluble, condom friendly and pH balanced.

Revelation Lubricant.....
Enjoy all-night passion with just a few drops of this non-staining, multi-purpose and highly concentrated lubricant. Use instead of a silicone lube to enjoy ultimate lubrication without the harmful side effects of actual silicone. Can be easily re-activated with water.

Passion Parties Toy Cleanser.....
Regular bath soap can damage your favorite vibe. Our concentrated formula is specifically developed for adult toys. Gets toys super clean, but treats them gently. One bottle makes over 60 quarts of cleanser.

Lelo Soraya Ultimate Cadillac Toy....
The little black dress of vibrators. Dual-action, premium vibrator with a flexible clitoral stimulator and two motors. Features eight functions.
9" length, 1 1/4" diameter. No batteries required. Charger included.

This set retails for $317.00 BUT....for you....Lovers and Friends....

The Lelo Toy alone is $199!  This is a DELUXE will LOVE this toy!  An awarding design by female toy designers...this is the ULTIMATE gift to yourself...and Lady...YOU DESERVE IT!!!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Keeping Up the Summer Sex

Can you feel it?  The air is cooling off...the leaves...yes, the leaves are turning color (WHAT???).  We are making back to schedule plans for our family and preparing for a new "year."

Many couples see the Fall season as a time to take care of kids, focus on activities and the long lazy nights of summer are long gone.  The quilts are unpacked and the sexy skirts are put away.  *Sigh*  This often signals the end of hot summer loving....but it doesn't have to!!!

The Fall season can bring in long passionate nights of amazing love making!  Do you remember as a teenager  snuggling down under blankets in the parents basement?  Lights out, who cares what's on tv!  Take the fall season as the time to romance your partner. Here are some tips to keep that hot summer sex going all winter!

1.  Feed the kids earlier.  Fall and winter the sun goes down earlier and it's easier to settle kids to bedtime.  We do dinner for the kids at 5:30 pm and start the bedtime routine at 6:45 pm.  Kids are settled into their rooms beginning at 7:30 pm.  Our teen probably doesn't fall asleep until 9:30 or 10 pm, but she is in her room either watching a movie or reading by 8 pm.  Take the opportunity at least once a week to dine later with your partner.  Take out the nice dishes, light some candles and talk about things other than wiping butts and driving schedules.  Ask about each other's day.  Hold hands, kiss, feed each other!  Romance over food, just like you did on that first date.

2.  Bring out the blankets!  Put that wonderful quilt back on the bed.  Put the blankets back on the couch.  Put the kids to bed on a Friday night and snuggle in for a great movie!  I guarantee you, if he knows he's going to get some action on the couch...he will watch that chick flick!  Make sure you have your little toy chest hidden under the couch so you are ready to go.  Put an edible, a lubricant and a little bullet.  Make out like teenagers during the movie!

3.  Go for a walk.  There is something super romantic about a walk on a cool fall evening.  It could be the crisp air.  I could be the crunchy leaves.  It could be the warm hand holding yours. Whatever that "something" is, take advantage of it.  You might want to bring the family along.  When we reconnect to the ties that hold us to together, our love takes on a deeper shade.  Make an afternoon of it and top of the day with some hot cocoa and marshmallows.  A little dip of Bailey's for mom and dad and chocolate flavored kisses.

How do you keep those fires burning when the weather cools?

Please share!